I haven't posted anything in a while and you know what? I feel irresponsible. Why? Because this blog is my baby. I started it last year because my thoughts, (mostly positive) became overwhelming in my mind. I became nauseous and thanks to this blog, I've been able to barf all the words and ideas that I want with no restrictions and/or filters but still in a poetic and eloquent manner. Eh..poetic maybe eloquent no.
I've been in a weird funk lately. Haven't been able to really pin point it (I cut my sugar intake in half) and I've been feeling pretty down about myself. I built my entire confidence last year from the bottom up, literally. I've been giving myself a few pep talks and I think its back where it used to be but I don't want to be disappointed in myself again.
I signed up for a karate tournament. A world tournament. Lots of Russians. Strong Russians. Shit, I'm fucking terrified. This maybe tmi but every time I think about it, INSTANT DIARRHEA.
A while ago I thought about it and said fuck it, I wanna go on vacation. I don't want to sit on a beach tanning on one leg because the other leg is in a cast. I want my big ol' legs to get as much sun as they can. According to my physician, my vitamin D is "pitifully low". Over the weekend I remembered about my Uchi Deshi blog and how devoted to karate how I was. Shit, I fucking slept, ate, crapped and inhaled karate for 5 weeks. Where's the passion now? It's still there but under this little mask called fear. Once I remembered that, it was like Simba going back to the pride lands. I remembered who I was.
Here I am, training 6 times a week, eating clean (no crash dieting) and enrolling into my jobs insurance plan.
