Men are so fucking lame.
I've lost all hope. And I don't mean that in the boo hoo why won't anyone love me for me?! type of way, I mean it in the FUCK THIS I will never understand the constant the need to sticking a dagger into a hole-blood-pumping warmth for the rest of my life and I don't fucking want to. Sorry, I don't think I'm biologically capable of understanding especially since I've spent most of my life preserving, protecting my hole-blood-pumping warmth.
So why am I so fed up? Because I don't get it. I really don't. When you're with someone who loves you unconditionally, who loves you in the light as well as in all your darkness, who is loyal to the t, how could you still think the grass is greener on the other side? 26 years in the sun, planted in soil of good ol' Dominican love, never quenched for a drop of water. I think that I'm as green as it gets but I'll never stop someone from walking into a pile of hay.
Some say that men are just as insecure as women, feeling below par about almost everything from their relationship to their jobs. That's why at the end of the day,it doesn't matter how perfect their partner is, an insecure person will always look for a piece of sweet cheese for their egos. Even if I had a soft side, I can't muster empathy for this. I can't. Being the insecure person that I am, in contrast, my morals are solid dude. SOLID, just like the ground underneath my big ol' pile of grass. I'm not that selfish.
But not all men cheat. Women are guilty of this too. I've seen it happen. But when I love, I love deep. I'm strong enough to deal with a 100 heart breaks but I just don't feel like I deserve it. I'm going to start loving myself, as if I was my own partner; feed my soul bits of sweet cheese but not for my ego.
At this moment, I don't think I want to get married. I've met my share of happy couples but they're
a dying breed. I just don't think that people are meant to love and have sex with one person for the rest of their lives. Our interests and tastes are constantly changing. Especially during this curious age, people want nothing but to discover. My wants are constantly changing too. I don't know if I can love one person forever but I will always be loyal. That will always be true. My love is disciplined.
Getting married is like taking an oath, break it, and your entire character in shambles. I don't want someone to be with me and later feel like they're wearing chains, though the feeling is inevitable.
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