Orange You Glad that I'm Talking About Food?

The more I work and think about my future, the more I think about my ideal setting. Here's what I've come up with:

I want to live in a place where I can buy or pick the food that I want without having to think about where it comes from. I want to eat an apple, celery or dairy without wondering how it was raised or treated. America isn't exactly the poster child for 'natural' living but  the growing obesity problem has led to a booming and profitable 'organic' market. Here's my problem with organic food, how could you fully measure, with your own senses how 'organic' something is. If you pick up a regular orange in one hand and a 'organic' orange in the other hand, how would you know that the orange is organic besides having the label guide you? To some extent, you can literally say anything is organic.

Yo. I got your organic pencils right here.

When you sell organic food items by the masses it needs to be certified. It's kind of nice that we have a system that sets standards for organic food but the more and more I think about it, I get frustrated. Why do we live in a world where we have oranges and 'organic' oranges? What the fuck does that even mean? That there are two different types of people that want to grow oranges and only one of them doesn't give a shit about getting pesticides and chemicals into your body? What kind of fucked up shit is that? Here's what's happening to our food market: by introducing the word organic, we've broken down food into classes based on the quality we presume them to have. I'll use oranges again as a example. An orange, which cost less than a organic orange, is presumed to be less 'healthy' because it's grown with pesticides, chemicals and god- knows- what to keep it fake, bright, and orange for a very long time. A health-conscious person, such as myself, would buy an organic orange because its presumed to have more health benefits. No chemicals. No cancer. MO' LIFE. But why do I have to shell out more money for healthy food-- essentially, why can't organic oranges be regular oranges? If the government can regulate the amount of alcohol that we drink, the cigarettes we smoke, and the marijuana we buy for "health" risks, why doesn't the government enforce laws that would force the agriculture to be healthy, safe and accessible to everyone?  Because we eat too damn much. It seems like there's always a new study about the appropriate amount of food we should eat. One time a day, three times a day, six times a day. Who has time to think when, what and how should be eating? How did our ancestors eat? I tell you how they ate: WHEN THEY WERE FRIGG'N HUNGRY. Dassit. We have regulations because of our obesity problem. I digress but I will say this, I try to be mindful of what I eat but I can't sit and calculate the amount of food I'm going to have a day. I eat when I'm hungry and when I do I try to be as health-conscious as possible.

I want to own a farm. It's in my blood. My grandfather raised cattle, chickens, goats and farmed plantains, mangoes, avocados and all sorts of herbs. Since I've gone vegetarian I don't think I'd kill any animals but I'd love to raise pigs have them as pets/garbage disposals. They're so damn cute.

I can't be too sure that I'd prevent any cancer or any illness in the future, it maybe already too late for me to undo the damage but I just want to live the rest of my life eating good food--food that's not just healthy because they're  chemical free but because they're planted by hands that had endless amount of love and compassion for life in general.

Idenity

I don't know. I don't really have anything to complain about. I'm feeling pretty grateful about everything and everyone in my life. Sure, things are probably going haywire everywhere else in the world but everything feels likes it's all mending in a big pot of a good ol' stew called "Danessa's life". Though not much went on, I could say that I had a pretty good weekend attending to myself , thoughts, cleaning, getting my nails done, karate and spending good ol' quality time with my boyfriend. We've been together for almost a year and things just feel..genuine and hassle free. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all that easy, we've hit a few bumps along the way but by adjusting. getting accustomed, and having a  mutual desire of being together, I feel like we've come up with a best possible equation of making things work.

Things are  pretty awesome with my parents. I'm finally able to help them out with finances and somewhat guide into retirement. The thought of them retiring though, brings a great deal sadness. Luckily, it comes along with just enough happiness that allows me to function on a day-to day basis. It's not that I don't want my parents to retire,  I actually want them to retire right now but if they do, they're headed straight to the motherland. I'm. Not. Ready.

Most of my family lives in D.R. I have some family throughout the tri-state but we've drifted so far apart over the last couple of years that we only really see each other during big family events. My mom, dad and sister are really the only family I  have.  I'm usually at my boyfriends place most of the time so I don't see my parents as often but I'm so accustomed to the feeling of them just being "there"-- physically and emotionally being there, that I'm afraid of losing that feeling forever. It might sound silly but there are some things I know my mom will always do for me, no matter how she feels, like making ginger tea and lemon when I'm sick, cook a big bowl of sancocho when she knows I'm coming home, or pray for me when I'm trying to ace a test or go to a job interview. My parents don't have much but when it comes to the emotional and supporting aspect of a parent, they make me feel wealthy. 

Not sure when they plan on moving but I know the separation will be as painful as wax. Last night, my mother and I had an interesting conversation about our  actual ethnicity. If you know anything about Dominican history,  the race itself is sort of interesting. When you compare Dominican Republic to other nations, the country is fairly new. Its only been around for 200 years. After 500 years of power struggles, Dominicans have different ranges of Spanish, French, African and Taino descent. My mother told me that my great grandfather was a refugee from Italy and had settled in DR with his family when he was seven years old. My great, great grandmother (from  my grandmother's side) was a refugee from Spain who also came with her family.It's got me really thinking:

Where do I really come from? What kind of blood am I carrying? Does it harness my passions?

I think I found a new mission.

The Natural Order.

So I've come to realize that maybe somethings aren't meant to be. I emailed Penn State about a week ago to see about visiting their campus and inquire more about their graduate meteorology program. They told me I could come visit anytime and to email them my transcripts. I went ahead and and scheduled a bus trip through Mega bus and emailed them my transcripts but then I received an email short after that I didn't have sufficient math and science credits for their program.

WAAA WAAA.

My first reaction: Cry. Let those iddie bitties out. No shame in crying. It's not like it was your dream or anything to study the weather...

After some thinking, maybe it was a sign. Maybe it's not my time to go back to school, could be the reason why it's been so difficult all along. The timing is all wrong. So I've relaxed and mentally laid out all my goals and plans. I'm excited to say that I'm finally saving up to buy my own place, hopefully within the next year or two. I'm getting the hang of things at work so maybe I'll stay longer than I intended. I signed up to become a fitness instructor through this free program run by the city's park department called"Shape Up". I started classes last week and I'm honestly super excited to start teaching next year starting January.

AYYYY DON WANNNA BE ANYTHAN' OTHER THAN WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO BE LATELEY

It's weird but I feel like I've mellowed out lately. On all aspects. I've been working out less, been less stringent on food,  I've  been satisfying my cravings a lot more. I wonder if it's the equinox again bringing balance... It's either that or I'm subliminally trying to prep for the holiday meals. I swear it never fails but every year around this time, I gain 10 pounds. All I think about is food like I'm ready to go into hibernation mode and just eat and eat and eat. Then again , my body could be naturally prepping itself for winter and craving more goodies so that I don't freeze my butt off. I need the fat to keep me warm. Hmm...thanks body. You're awesome. I'm going to finish my chocolate chip cookie and cawfee in one PAY-CE.