Idenity

I don't know. I don't really have anything to complain about. I'm feeling pretty grateful about everything and everyone in my life. Sure, things are probably going haywire everywhere else in the world but everything feels likes it's all mending in a big pot of a good ol' stew called "Danessa's life". Though not much went on, I could say that I had a pretty good weekend attending to myself , thoughts, cleaning, getting my nails done, karate and spending good ol' quality time with my boyfriend. We've been together for almost a year and things just feel..genuine and hassle free. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all that easy, we've hit a few bumps along the way but by adjusting. getting accustomed, and having a  mutual desire of being together, I feel like we've come up with a best possible equation of making things work.

Things are  pretty awesome with my parents. I'm finally able to help them out with finances and somewhat guide into retirement. The thought of them retiring though, brings a great deal sadness. Luckily, it comes along with just enough happiness that allows me to function on a day-to day basis. It's not that I don't want my parents to retire,  I actually want them to retire right now but if they do, they're headed straight to the motherland. I'm. Not. Ready.

Most of my family lives in D.R. I have some family throughout the tri-state but we've drifted so far apart over the last couple of years that we only really see each other during big family events. My mom, dad and sister are really the only family I  have.  I'm usually at my boyfriends place most of the time so I don't see my parents as often but I'm so accustomed to the feeling of them just being "there"-- physically and emotionally being there, that I'm afraid of losing that feeling forever. It might sound silly but there are some things I know my mom will always do for me, no matter how she feels, like making ginger tea and lemon when I'm sick, cook a big bowl of sancocho when she knows I'm coming home, or pray for me when I'm trying to ace a test or go to a job interview. My parents don't have much but when it comes to the emotional and supporting aspect of a parent, they make me feel wealthy. 

Not sure when they plan on moving but I know the separation will be as painful as wax. Last night, my mother and I had an interesting conversation about our  actual ethnicity. If you know anything about Dominican history,  the race itself is sort of interesting. When you compare Dominican Republic to other nations, the country is fairly new. Its only been around for 200 years. After 500 years of power struggles, Dominicans have different ranges of Spanish, French, African and Taino descent. My mother told me that my great grandfather was a refugee from Italy and had settled in DR with his family when he was seven years old. My great, great grandmother (from  my grandmother's side) was a refugee from Spain who also came with her family.It's got me really thinking:

Where do I really come from? What kind of blood am I carrying? Does it harness my passions?

I think I found a new mission.