So here I am , at the Malverne train station in Long Island, trying to be non chalant and casual sitting on a bench after realizing that my bra strap has completely snapped. It's a gorgeous day and the men are mowing and cleaning up the grass. They appear now more frequently as I awkwardly try to sit up so that the cups on the bra still cover my breast. You see, it's pretty chilly, I would say chillier than most days and I am wearing a thin white shirt that falls right off the shoulders. I have about an hour until my train arrives which is an hour for me to find a public restroom to fix this thing but everything in this town is super local. Yes, super local. Not even a Starbucks in sight and everything is closed either because they are too busy frolicking in the flowers or because its fucking Monday and people don't casually around looking for coffee at 11am in Malverne. I'm pretty sure the men working by the grass know the deal under my shirt. Oh god, I hope they don't think I'm a hooker. Not to pull the racist card but besides the red bricks on the ground, I'm the only tanned thing in this town. The guy I'm dating happens to live in Malverne and never met anyone Dominican before me so when he tried to make racist jokes about my ethnicity, he kept bringing it back to sombreros and "arriba arriba" , which I thought was his attempt to be sarcastic but when he couldn't move pass on what seemed like Speedy Gonzales references, I knew he didn't have a clue about Dominican culture. Oh god, they probably think I'm a Mexican prostitute.
Note: I'd normally rip into this guy but he's harmless and super sweet.
Ehh, I guess it could be worst. It could be raining, 10 degrees cooler , and/or my nips could be so hard that they'd pop through my bra like instant popcorn. The men could be walking around and happen to find something to put their 'butter' on. I know, I'm pretty sick but I'm terrified of being raped. Plus, I live in the city. I know what's its like to be at a train station at 2 in the morning and feel a man stare at you for a second too long with his eyes half-opened. You know what they're thinking? RAPE. Its either that or they could be high out of their minds , frightened that they've seen a life-sized twix bar. Either way, I'm not a fucking twix bar and I refuse to get raped.
I forgot the name of the movie, but wasnt there this film about a girl with a vagina that ate and/or slash dicks or something? And she couldn't have sex because her vagina would go zombie mode? I think it was a horror flick but I'd swear if it were up to me, I'd advertise it as a super hero movie. Not sayin that I'd want a rabid vagina... okay so I'm totally saying that. I'm all for gender equality but lets face it here , when it comes to strength amongst men and women, it isnt a social issue, its a biological one. Besides women saying no, there arent any real boundaries between men and sex. Most species have natural defenses against their counterparts. Whats a women natural defense agaisnt men? Sorry, can't think of any. I'm pro-zombie vagina.
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